What is Global Warming?

 

    The present debate, declared to be over due to consent to be correct on one side of the argument, regards a runaway greenhouse effect whereupon the Earth will continue to warm until it is all burning desert and lifeless wasteland. In this argument, Earth will soon be exactly like Venus unless we cork all the livestock and return to subsistence farming using wooden implements. Since this discussion has officially been declared closed, we will focus instead on the underlying fundamentals. In doing so, we will use only non-scientific and indefensible arguments that may easily be dismissed by any person who is not a complete moron.

 

    If you are a moron, read on. If you are an intelligent person who has a reasonable understanding of modern concerns and scientific knowledge, please click away now before you are offended. If you did not CLICK AWAY, please remember that I DID WARN YOU.

 

    Global warming is the natural effect of radiant energy from the sun striking the Earth. For the sake of modeling the process, we shall view all celestial objects as closed systems within a vacuum, with radiance being the only source of both heating and cooling. In our model, every object will have its own heat signature, based upon its own energy potential. The Sun, of course, radiates great volumes of energy. The energy reaching Earth is nearly 1,370 Watts per square meter of surface area. This rate of incoming energy is pretty much a constant, though it does vary according to solar activity and the transit of Venus, whose shadow partially occludes the sun. Atmosphere and surface features are the main determinants of how much of this energy is absorbed and how much is reflected. In addition to reflection, the Earth also radiates energy on its own. In recent times, the balance of energy received to energy reflected or emitted was pretty close. It was not always this way.

 

    Once, the Earth was covered with ice for much of its upper latitudes and upper altitudes. Because of this, the Earth began to discharge its energy into space. Energy output was greater than energy input due to high surface reflectivity. This went on for some time, as the Earth grew colder and colder. At some point, the Earth grew so cold that there was no longer enough water vapor in the atmosphere to maintain the snows that fed the ice fields. The oceans were chilled with glacial runoff. Large-scale evaporation was limited mostly to equatorial regions and precipitation came quickly, before the water vapor could reach the ice fields. In addition to this, the crust grew thicker, making radiation of energy less efficient. This was the tipping point for Global Warming. When this tipping point was reached the Earth began to warm.

 

    The Earth did not warm quickly. For thousands of years, glaciers retreated from erosion by melting and by sublimation. As they retreated the energy balance of the Earth shifted. The lowered reflectivity allowed more energy to be absorbed from the Sun. Fresh water from melting glaciers made evaporation less costly in terms of calories required to raise water temperature even as it cooled the waters. Increasing vegetation added to atmospheric water vapor. The humid zone began to widen to include areas outside the tropical zones. Still, the warming went slowly. The ice serves as a rather large heat sink. As long as the ice remains in large enough quantities, the Earth remains at a fairly constant temperature, allowing for seasonal differences and minor adjustments along the way where ice fields might grow and recede in short bursts. In all, though, these little periods of change are tiny fluctuations on the greater waveform of charge and discharge of global energy. You can observe the lingering effects of Global Cooling in Mongolia, in the Sahara, in the Baja Peninsula, in Northern Africa, and throughout the American West. Desertification is a very visible direct result of a lack of atmospheric water vapor. At night, the desert may be cool enough for frost to form, but the aridity of the atmosphere due to low evaporation prevents all but the least of precipitation from ever occurring.

 

    At some point in the future, the ice fields will have receded sufficiently for the world to begin warming without their balancing influence. Without the atmospheric water vapor to sustain and replenish them, they cannot survive. When this happens, the ice will all but vanish, limited to the farthest Polar Regions. The oceans will begin to warm. Continental rebound will raise Asia and North America. The oceans will grow deeper and may actually tear the crust by hydrostatic pressure, causing more undersea volcanism. As the waters warm, the atmosphere will begin to saturate with water vapor, which will increase the global energy absorption. Atmospheric pressure will increase and the atmosphere will expand. Satellites in low orbits will be dragged from the sky.

 

    Atmospheric saturation will reach a point where the cool of night will be enough to cause precipitation. It will get hot. It will get damned hot. People will abandon lowlands and cities and failing technology and civilization. Cave dwelling will become quite stylish, as will sleeping in the day and coming forth only in the night to gather food. Water should not be a problem. Fruit should be quite plentiful. Farming will become impractical as large animals swarm to lowland waters for their cooling effect. They will find the waters too warm and will succumb to the heat, choking the rivers and pools as the waters wash away their worldly sins.

 

    Preparedness by the rich and powerful will result in marvelous mountain keeps and stone tunnels taking advantage of the natural coolness of the Earth's crust.  They will also preserve some food animals and agricultural plants. At some point, the ice fields will grow to the point where the glaciers border on the jungles, pressed southward by the crushing weight of the incessant snows. A tipping point will be reached, and the Earth will be fully charged with infrared goodness. The Age of Aquarius will be over. Rains will not fall as they once did. The snows that fed the ice fields will disappear along with the water vapor that fed them. Continents will sink under the weight of all the ice. The sea floors will rise from the reduced pressure of the shallow seas.

 

    After the chaos and tumult, the wealthy and powerful that survived will come forth and rule the wretched dregs of humanity who remain, granting them food animals and agricultural crops. They may even teach the poor fools to roast meat and serve it to them as a sacrifice. They will become the undisputed Lords of the World. They will most likely declare a new world and begin numbering the days beginning with their assumption of sovereignty over mankind. Their rule will not be easy, however, as the shrinking atmosphere will make rain sporadic and unreliable over much of the previously lush tropical areas. Natural desertification of the land will continue as the glaciers recede and the seas grow deeper as the continents rise from the release from the crushing weight of the ice.

 

    Eventually, the Lords will pass on, taking their closely guarded technological secrets with them. Whatever technology is in use already will survive for a while until it breaks down and is discarded. Their various groups of loyal minions may fight on in their name for a time, but the age of the Great Lords will be over, and all traces of their works will vanish, aside from megalithic structures too huge for the useless dregs of humanity to adequately destroy. New powerful leaders will rise and claim the ancestral places for their own, erasing their original purpose and meaning. They will probably assert that the world is theirs and always has been, likely claiming that their inability to duplicate yesterday's glories is due to their having found a better way and to no longer indulge in the sins of the past.

 

    This, naturally, is a really foolish and totally unscientific view of Global Climate Change. The Truth, obviously, is something else. The Truth, as we are now being told, is that we can control Global Climate by changing the diet of our livestock to reduce methane production. We can control Global Climate by no longer using the internal combustion engine. We can control Global Climate by forcing people to use compact fluorescent bulbs instead of incandescent bulbs. Twelve thousand years of glacial retreat HAS been caused by two hundred years of human industry. It is obvious. Only a moron could believe otherwise. Still, being a moron, I might consider joining the National Space Society instead of buying things I really didn’t want just because they are intended to Save the Earth from Global Warming. If only I had a doctorate in Geology or something, I might not be so dumb. Oh well. I’ve grown quite accustomed to the fact that I am already as smart as I will ever be and will never be as smart as the rest of Humanity.

 

   Now I feel bad for misleading you, so I will include a series of links to sites containing more officially correct and responsible scientific theory and research.

 

First, an accepted alternative to the hydrostatic force model for continental plate formation and movement:

Pangaea  - http://pubs.usgs.gov/gip/dynamic/historical.html

 

Then, an accepted alternative to the charge-discharge model of global warming and cooling:

Ice Sheets - http://edmall.gsfc.nasa.gov/99invest.Site/science-briefs/ice/ed-ice.html

 

One of my favorites, a responsible view on extinctions:

La Brea - http://www.trussel.com/prehist/news284.htm

 

And, of course you can easily find your own links regarding the origins and nature of Earth’s ancient Gods and Warlords:

Zecharia Sitchin - http://www.sitchin.com/

Michael S. Heiser - http://www.sitchiniswrong.com/