CHAPTER THREE
NOTHING TO DO IN THIS ONE-HORSE TOWN
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Date: 01/16/92; 1:35PM
From: Flint Fireforge [159]

Are the hot dogs still hot? If so, I'll set them 
on the CFI so it will melt faster. Then I'll go through
a coniption fit and swear vengence to my stereo.
Will the pickle panic the Cube? If not, we'll
have to take The Wrecker's +2 hoe and chip the thing off
her face. Speaking of which, is there a blow dryer
around...?
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Date: 01/16/92; 11:15PM
From: L. S. Creetor [62]

I'm going to sing the bardsong "Burnin' For You" 
and cast the effects on the ice cube. Then, if its
starts rapping, I'm going to scream and kick it right in
the b*ss. If my crewmates disable the cosmic cube, I
will sing the bardsong "After The Rain" and hope that
it's precognitive powers work with frozen precipitation,
too.
L.S. Creetor.
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Date: 01/17/92; 7:48PM
From: Brass Orchid [3]

Between the little remaining warmth in the -1 
Hotdogs of Dubious Origin and the invoking of Blue
Oyster Cult, the level seven Cube of Floridated Ice
caught in The Wrecker's throat is reduced to harmless
water, which causes her to have a minor Fit of Coughing.
The -1 Hotdogs of Dubious Origin, which are
wrapped in waxed paper, are now cool enough to put in the
K-Mart bag. Everybody gains 300 experience points.
The Wrecker gains a level seven spell of enamel
strength, which can be used as an invisible shield spell.
The fresh newspapers are being placed in the
newsbox. The headlines mention that there was an
attempted murder by a Cube of Floridated Ice at the train
depot earlier today and that the trains are running ahead
of schedule.
Just then, you see a cloud of smoke and cinders
approaching from the east. The train, possibly one of
the oldest steam engines in existance, is coming into
town, accompanied by much noise and dirt.
The +5 Wad of Adherence behind Flint's ear
quivers and loses conciousness. Flint and L. S. Creetor
turn to watch the train approaching. The Wrecker
snatches Flint's book of coupons and goes to buy
tickets. Nightwatcher is still contemplating his +11
staff of moaning.
The train has now stopped and is refueling and
taking on water.
Your move...
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Date: 01/18/92; 5:11PM
From: Nightwatcher [1]

I wish I'd gotten here sooner. I would have 
melted that cube with my +11 staff of moaning instead of
just contemplating it. (Boy, would The Wrecker have gone
out of her mind!)
I think I'll wake L.S. out of his trance. It's
time to go along and catch the train. I'm also going to
get a fresh paper to make sure that we stay up to date
with current events.
Flint, don't eat those hot dogs. They are some
of the most dangerous level 1 weapons around. They will
cause anything that eats them to have -17 Fits of
Convulsion for 3 minutes! Save them. We might need
them. I'm also looking around to see if the +5 wad of
adhesion fell off on the ground when it fell asleep.
If it did I'll retieve it!
Lets get going to the train before it
unexpectedly leaves without us. I also want to check up
on The Wrecker's throat. (to make sure shes ok!)
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Date: 01/19/92; 12:33AM
From: The Wrecker [11]

As I come back from getting the tickets, I hear 
most of Nightwatcher's babblings... Sure, now that I'm
all right thanks to the other guys, NOW you wanna help???
I've been contemplating just how easy it would be
to make the +11 staff of Moaning into a -11 staff of
moaning!! We will sure dicuss this on the train... I
just have the perfect camouflage for our discussion on
the train... Nobody will see anything.
(They may hear maybe, but they will not see.)
We can have a very lively dicussion behind my low growing
yew, hmmmm? Maybe, Flint, you can lend L.S. some of your
gum wad collection for ear plugs, and use some yourself,
because on the train someone's going to be screaming for
the Rabbi and his Kosher dills!!
As we board the train, so as to immediately disable
Nightwatcher, I aim my can of mace at him. I then start
chewing a piece of my gum so I can make me a perfectly
good set of earplugs, in case I need them...!
The Wrecker
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Date: 01/21/92; 9:43PM
From: Brass Orchid [3]

The group boards the train with the tickets that 
The Wrecker got in exchange for 16 of the Wal Mart
coupons, which leaves 84 coupons.
Nightwatcher is mumbling something about +11
something or other, and looking for good seats where he
can read his paper and still keep an eye on all that goes
on around him.
Flint is sulking because The Wrecker never gave
his Go-Go Gadget stuff back to him and they were
presumably destroyed with the dirigable.
L. S. Creetor is wondering why there aren't any
televisions in the sleeper compartments booked for the
group by The Wrecker and reviewing bardsongs in his head
in preparation for whatever may happen next.
The Wrecker is stowing the low growing yew and
the +2 Hoe of Gardening in the baggage car.
This train has a Club Car, a Dining Car, Sleeper
Cars, Passenger Cars, a Baggage Car, a Mail Car, a Coal
Car, an Engine and a Caboose. Dinner is served in the
Dining Car from 7pm to 10pm and the Club Car is open
until 2am.
The trip will take 3 days, two days to reach the summit,
and one to reach your destination. There will be stops
at frequent intervals to take on fuel and water.
It is 3:15pm.
Your move...
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